What does "Sexual Purity" actually mean?

A biblical perspective and its practical implications.

Sex is one of the most significant parts of a person’s life. In the 28^th verse in the Bible, God commands, “…be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.” There is an entire book, Song of Solomon, that is centered around sex. The seventh of the Ten Commandments is, “you shall not commit adultery.” And yet, despite its significance in our lives as humans, sex is one of the most misunderstood, perverted, and wrongly viewed aspects of our lives. Even those of us who grew up in the Church and were raised by Biblical principles still have not been properly taught how to view sex.

As a kid, a common experience for me was going to church and hearing how scary and dangerous sex is. Perhaps you know the feeling. Every once in a while, someone might have mentioned that “sex is wonderful within the confines of marriage.” But regardless of whether it was being discussed negatively or positively, there was always a clear feeling that talking about sex was embarrassing and shameful. It was also clear that anyone who sinned sexually must be a really bad person and was definitely a significantly worse person than somebody who just committed small sins like lying, pridefulness, or gossip. People who sinned sexually were the kind of people that your parents didn’t want you to hang out with, because something definitely went wrong with that kid, and you might wind up corrupted by them. It was better to just stay away from them. They were probably too far gone anyway.

This kind of thinking became most apparent in what has been popularly termed “purity culture.” There lies a foundation for thinking about sex that says that sex is the enemy and any sexual activity outside of marriage results in irreversible damage, making a person ruined, like a piece of gum that has already been chewed. It reduces the entire rich, beautiful, biblical view of sex down to one rule: wait until marriage. By doing so, it fails to properly address any other aspect of sex or establish a full theological foundation for why God created us as sexual beings. This view of sexual purity leads to a culture where anybody who messes up sexually is better off hiding it than facing the ostracizing shame that comes along with people knowing about their mistakes.

The Stats

It is important to first recognize the reality of the world we live in. According to Common Sense Media’s national survey published in 2023, “73% of teen respondents age 13 to 17 have watched pornography online—and more than half (54%) reported first seeing pornography by the time they reached the age of 13” (Common Sense Media). Research from the Barna Group and Pure Desire Ministries published in 2024 found that seventy-five percent of Christian men and forty percent of Christian women report viewing pornography on some level (Beyond the Porn Phenomenon). Also from the Barna Group, “42% of Evangelical Christians in the U.S. have had premarital sex” (Premarital Sex Statistics Statistics: Market Data Report 2025).

The view of sexual purity that has been promoted over the last while has lacked a strong theological foundation and, for that same reason, failed to properly address the problem of sexual purity effectively. It has not only failed to keep people from sexual impurity but has then driven those same people in need of help to hide their sin and live in shame, sometimes leaving the Church altogether. Something needs to change. We need to restore the right perspective of sexual purity.

Avoiding Distortions of Sexual Purity

First, I want to quickly look at what we need to avoid. The first response to avoid is throwing away sexual purity completely. Many people who have been hurt by “purity culture” have responded by completely rejecting any plea for sexual purity. It is easy to see that if we desire to follow Scripture, there is some standard of sexual purity to follow.

The other response to be avoided is one that turns purity into a performance. This is really an offshoot of the thinking behind purity culture. It has still failed to realize the deeper purpose behind purity. This thinking can be seen in trends like “trad wives,” where a lot of the time modesty and purity are for the sake of an aesthetic or to look good rather than to honor God and our bodies.

Instead of either of these responses, we should turn to Scripture and look to see what God has to say about sexual purity.

Biblical Purity

Scripture does not treat sex as something utterly shameful and threatening. It treats sex as a profound, holy, God-designed gift within the covenant of marriage. From the beginning, God created us for the sexual union of a husband and wife. This design was a part of his creation that he called very good. Song of Solomon celebrates physical love and sexual desire between a husband and wife with no embarrassment or shame. The New Testament also affirms the sexual part of marriage, “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband” (1 Corinthians 7:3, ESV).

When we do see commands to flee sexual immorality, it is important to look at the reasoning behind it. In 1 Corinthians, Paul calls believers to flee sexual immorality, not because our bodies are bad, but rather, because they are good. “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body” (1 Corinthians 6:18-20, ESV). Biblical sexual ethics are based on the dignity and holiness of the body, not in fear, disgust, or shame.

This biblical view changes what purity means. A right view still upholds the standard of sex belonging inside the covenant of marriage, but it changes the why behind it. Purity is no longer a status that you lose forever the moment you mess up; instead, it becomes a way of living.

How does this change of perspective change how we live?

First, we must immerse ourselves in Scripture so that this right perspective of sexuality is not just a fact we know but becomes ingrained in how we think. Not only should we be intaking Scripture, but we should also be safeguarding our intake of the hyper-sexual things of the world. For “whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life” (Galatians 6:7-8, ESV). We cannot constantly consume things that drive us to a worldly view of sexuality and expect to have a biblical view ingrained in us.

Second, we must stop hiding in shame. James 5:16 tells us to confess our sins to one another so that we can be healed. Proverbs 28:13 says, “Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.” Find people you can trust and confess your struggles to them. Take advantage of the community God has given us and use that accountability to encourage growth. Sin thrives in darkness but flees when brought into the light.

Conclusion

In conclusion, remember that sexual purity is not a status that is lost forever the moment a mistake is made. It is a posture of living that is about honoring the God who made you by living in the way he designed you to live. Sex is not the enemy. It is a gift designed by God for covenant, for intimacy, and for the glorification of God within the bond of marriage.

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Works Cited:

1. Common Sense Media. “New Report Reveals Truths about How Teens Engage with Pornography | Common Sense Media.” Www.commonsensemedia.org, 10 Jan. 2023, www.commonsensemedia.org/press-releases/new-report-reveals-truths-about-how-teens-engage-with-pornography.

2. “Premarital Sex Statistics Statistics: Market Data Report 2025.” Worldmetrics.org, 2025, worldmetrics.org/premarital-sex-statistics/.