“...Therefore, so that I would not exalt myself, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to torment me so that I would not exalt myself. 8Concerning this, I pleaded with the Lord three times that it would leave me. 9But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.” Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me. 10So I take pleasure in weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and in difficulties, for the sake of Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
— 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 (CSB)
We all have weaknesses, some more torturous than others. For me, one of those weaknesses is a propensity to lust. I have faced many battles with sexual desire throughout my life. There were times when I believed that if I fought with much resistance, eventually I would build up an unbreachable wall of self-resistance between me and the desire to lust. After years of trying, followed by much failing, I was eventually brought to the same place we all end up: my knees.
With great longing to follow God in all his ways, I remember praying, begging God to take these desires away from me. “Lord, please just remove this weakness from me so I may finally keep your will…” I prayed, hoping that if God would kill that part of my indwelling sin, I could live a life free of this weakness and the failure that followed.
Here I am many years later, and God has still not taken it. The weakness of my flesh has not disappeared. Some days it may be a whisper I barely notice, easily dismissed. Other days it returns with a force that catches me off guard, reminding me how thin the line still is between discipline and defeat. Yet, while this weakness of my flesh persists, I no longer live bound to its direction. As Paul did, I eventually found the victory over weakness that God grants his children.
Flawed Expectations
I used to think this spiritual victory meant the fight would eventually end. Now I understand it differently: victory is not the absence of our weakness, but rather the enjoyment of something greater than what sin has to offer.
Now, do not misunderstand me. My point is not that we will inevitably lose to sin in the battle against lust. No — part of victory is the standing of our ground against sin’s deceitful promises and saying no when temptations confront us. There is no victory where we let sin win.
Rather, my point is this: Nowhere within myself have I found the means necessary to eliminate the weakness of my own flesh. It was only when I looked outward and upward to something more pleasing than the joys of lust that I found victory.
Happy in Our Weakness
Rather than removing our weaknesses, God has said to us, as he did to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness” (vs. 9a). It is on this ground that Paul says, “I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me” (vs. 9b). How could someone be glad about their weakness? Is it not our weakness that keeps us from being righteous before God? Indeed it is. Yet Paul claims that his weakness is the occasion for his pleasure in Christ. “I take pleasure in my weakness…for the sake of Christ” (vs. 10).
Instead of self-loathing over his weakness, Paul claims a boastful happiness because of it. Not a boasting that displays Paul’s greatness, but the greatness of one whose power overcomes the strength of every weakness.
If I had somehow been able to remove the fleshly weakness to lust that lies within myself, I would certainly have something to boast about. But inevitably, I could not. We are not strong enough to overcome our own innate sinfulness. That power rests in God’s sovereign promise to grant us something more tasteful than the pleasures of sin: himself.
So, how does my weakness make me glad? Because when I resist the pleasures of sin by looking to the beauty of Christ, I am not just told that God is superior to sin. I am shown it, in the very place I am weakest. My gladness is not in the weakness itself. My gladness is in what the weakness uncovers: that only God can satisfy the desires of a heart made for him.
Real Victory, Real Joy
So, when I choose God over lust, I am not shown to be stronger than my own weakness. Rather, God is shown to be more enjoyable than sinful pleasures. It is in this victory over sin that I may, as Paul did, “take pleasure in my weakness…” (vs. 10). For by my weakness, the one who truly satisfies my restless soul is shown to be more valuable than anything else. I do not have to go on loathing myself for my indwelling inclination toward evil. Instead, I am free to be glad, recognizing my weakness and using it to point me to the only one who can truly satisfy.
Be glad in your weakness! Be glad in God!
so good brother